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anger, acceptance, and forgiveness....
Hi everyone. Someone
recently wrote me an email inquiring about the difference between anger,
acceptance, and forgiveness. I am sorry I didn't get back to them, but recently
had some personal problems that prevented me from answering my emails. So
I apologize for my lapse in response time. Secondly, it is very hard to find forgiveness without first finding acceptance. Acceptance is in realizing that you and others have the 'right' to be who they are, and to want what they want. Even if it goes against your wishes, wants, and desires - they still have the right to pursue their own course in their own life. Peace comes when you accept that they have the right to do just that.
But, now anger - anger has a way of growing in you like a demon and undermining all your well-meaning efforts to forgive and accept - and move on. Anger is usually the first emotional expression of grief. It simply means you are grieving a situation's or person's control over you. If you experience a loss through death you may get angry at God for stealing control over your desire to keep the loved one with you. If you experienced a divorce because of infidelity you may get angry for your lack of control over the situation. Anger is a perfectly normal, acceptable, and welcomed part of the grieving process. It would be absolutely ridiculous to believe you shouldn't be angry about a failed relationship. You worked hard at your relationship, gave it so much time, accepted it into your life as a very special part of it. Sometimes, when we feel consumed by anger that seems to be centered at someone else, it really is misdirected anger at ourselves. Such as the woman who is angry at her abusive husband. Could it be misdirected anger at herself for not finding the strength, willpower, and courage to cut free of him? Could she be angry at herself for allowing him to steal her dignity and self-esteem? These are angry emotions that can be misdirected to another source. They don't benefit you at all. They don't incite you into action, or release injustices. They just burn hate into your very heart and soul, consuming your inner peace and joy. Again, this is just my opinion. Hugs to all! Tigress Luv Tigress Luv , the Breakup Guru, is the author of How to STOP a Breakup, an instantly available webBook and website, or downloadable ebook, designed to help you STOP or reverse your breakup and get your ex back, and How to Get Over a Breakup, also an instantly available online webBook and website, or ebook download, designed to help you understand and heal from a broken heart . Both are available on this site and are free when you join our breaking up survival community.
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