The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up The essential female companion from the first moment he walks out of your life! The Girls' Guide to Surviving a Break-Up offers step-by-step advice for getting over him.

The Hell with Love: Poems to Mend a Broken Heart Finally a book of poetry that describes every emotion you go through when you are in love and heart broken. This book is amazing and wonderful. I recommend it to who ever loves poetry and ever had a broken heart.

He's Just Not That Into You (The Newly Expanded Edition): The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys It seems like everywhere you turn the phrase "He's just not that into you" is being thrown around. And for good reason! The ladies are finally done waiting by the phone - hey, why sit at home for the phone to ring when it's so obvious that he's just not that into you?

Women Men Love, Women Men Leave: What Makes Men Want to Commit? In easy psychological terms, this book helps a woman understand why a man may react negatively to her even when she feels she's doing everything right for a relationship. With different female personalities portrayed, the reader will find themselves fitting one or more of the profiles.

THERE IS NO PERFECTION IN ROMANCE
by Ruth D. Kerce

No good men. No good women. That's the chant of those still looking for love. But perhaps the problem lies more in one's expectations. Perfection is hard to live up to. "But I'm not looking for perfection," you say. Maybe you are and don't realize it. Not perfection in all things, but perfection in the most important qualification you look for in a mate.

Some pitfalls women get into can come from searching for a particular type of man, such as one who:
1. HAS POTENTIAL. Then the woman tried to mold him into something that he's not. He may comply for a while, but eventually he'll revert to his true personality and behavior pattern. The woman then becomes disillusioned and leaves because he doesn't have the "potential" she thought.
2. HAS LOTS OF COMPASSION. Then when the man gets angry or frustrated (perfectly normal emotions), the woman wonders what happened to her loving man and decides he must not be "the one," after all.
3. HAS A TAKE-CHARGE PERSONALITY. Then when he shows emotions, the woman doesn't know how to deal with his softer side, and thinks he's not as strong a man as she first thought.

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Some pitfalls men get into can come from searching for a particular type of woman, such as one who:
1. DOES NO WRONG. She's the perfect hostess, the perfect mother, the perfect lover. He puts her on a pedestal. But a pedestal is a shaky thing. It's doomed to tumble. Then the man looks at the woman in dismay and wonders what happened.
2. IS GORGEOUS AND HOT. A woman can't be these things at all times. She's going to have a bad hair day. It's an impossible image to live up to. And it's also a very shaky reason to begin a relationship. Outer beauty fades too quickly.
3. TAKES CARE OF HIM LIKE HIS MOTHER. Often in new relationships a woman will do too much. The man gets used to this. Likes it (why wouldn't he?). Then expects it to last forever. When it doesn't, he gets discouraged and starts to sulk.

Instead of limiting yourself to a certain type of partner, try searching for someone who's multi-dimensional. Or better yet, don't search for a certain type at all. Realize that each person has a variety of emotions. No one is perfect (most people are far from it). Know that there will be a lot of bad times in a relationship. Beyond love and attraction, there has to be respect and real friendship for the partnership to last. Try finding that "friend" of the opposite sex first. Then if it turns to love, you will have the strongest bond that there is.

Copyright (c) 2000, Ruth D. Kerce

Writer of historical and contemporary romances, and webmaster of Addicted-to-Romance.com  Sign up for the *Whispers of Love* newsletter at http://www.addicted-to-romance.com - or - mailto:Addicted-to-Romance-subscribe@egroups.com  

Tigress Luv , the Breakup Guru, is the author of How to STOP a Breakup, an instantly available webBook and website, or downloadable ebook, designed to help you STOP or reverse your break up and get your ex back, and How to Get Over a Breakup, also an instantly available online webBook and website, or ebook download, designed to help you understand and heal from a broken heart . Both are available on this site and are free when you join our breaking up help and support community.

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